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Feeding the Monster From Within

Written by Jo Ann Rimmer, OLSC

August 5, 2017

 

. . . And the story goes

Monster?  What Monster?  There are a few terms I tend to shy away from. Fortunately for you; Monster isn’t one of them. Believe it or not, our inner workings are far more alike than you think or can possibly perceive. When asked, many years ago how I seemed to “just” get my life back on track, the first thing to come out of my mouth was to break with formal English etiquette and ask a question instead of supplying an answer. “What do you mean just get my life back on track?”  I’m not sure whether I was offended or relieved someone even bothered to ask or both. I do know I was feeling some-kind-of-way and I didn’t like it one iota.

That lone question invaded my personal space in a way I still liken at this moment as wearing a too tiny wool sweater in the middle of summer. Yup, highly uncomfortable in more ways than one. Within my mind, I had to defend my space. Little did they know that this is where the “Monster Within” resided. It was a sacred place, to be protected from prying eyes, praying hands and anything or anyone who could help me see that my self-destructive behaviors could possibly mean the death of me. I mean literally. I was experiencing a personal relationship that was positively unbreakable and life was pretty good. It was far from perfect, but hey, just because I stopped using drugs; became semi-comfortable working as a non-profit Executive and unselfishly dedicating a huge part of my life to help others, doesn’t mean I was all spit shined and ready for the real world. As a matter of fact, it was just the opposite. The question insinuated I had been actively working toward being healthy yet being healthier was never my goal. Long story short, it took me many years to realize, although it never seriously crossed my mind, someone might want to know just how I tamed that monster from within me.

Brace Yourself: If you decide to go down the wrong road, oftentimes there is no return. So, if I were you, when that Monster from within rears its head know this: It’s intentions are very clear and concise.

  1. YOU (not any situation, person or thing) will call upon the power of that negative entity within you to handle things that are unhealthy for you. No one calls upon that beast to achieve positive things. Do the math. . . If you make a decision and the result is negative, the Monster called the shot while you didn’t care enough about yourself to handle it.
  2. YOU control when a negative thought ends up leaving you in a tough situation. You have no one else to blame (although you may try). The result or as they call it, the consequences, will leave you with a wealth of emotions knowing once again you had the power of choice, which is the only thing that can kill the monster from within in its very footsteps. A thought is nothing without action. Act accordingly.

 

Well, there is no other way to describe the unhealthy way of thinking, of which we are all capable of while under the influence of anything or anyone unhealthy for us, other than. . . It exists. I could have described myself while using drugs and putting the ‘M’ in Monster as abnormal, addicted or a wide array of terminology found in any decent psychology diagnostic manual for emotionally or mentally unstable individuals. In layman’s terms and by society’s standards, I was nuttier than a fruitcake, but had the “system’s” full blessings.

But you know what? I didn’t need their blessings, their prayers, their programs, their sympathy or their empathy. Wrong thinking does that. What I needed and you will too one day, is to “Just straighten up and fly right.” Take flight from wherever you are. Check your passenger manifest: No Monsters Allowed.

By the way, there is no need to check under the bed for monsters tonight. . . Just look in the mirror: We can’t be right and wrong at the same time. Inform that monster from within to go sit down somewhere; you got this. I did and you can too. And if yours was as relentless as mines, repeat as necessary.

 

 

 

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